The question everyone's asking has finally been answered...

Good morning Terrace Talkers, Aaron here! It's been a while since I last rocked you with my hastily cobbled notes; well in this time I have been doing extensive research across the globe (well, the internet) to finally find the answer to the question people have been asking for months. Thanks to the kind of detective skills that would put Batman to shame; I have successfully worked out the answer to the most important question in football history...

Does Fernando Torres need a hug?

The answer is: Yes, yes he does.

Absolutely he does

That's all from me Terrace Talkers, tune in next week when I tackle another important question: Is Aaron actually Batman?

Hint: Absolutely I am.

Hmmm, I've just been informed by the rest of the Terrace Talk team that 2 paragraphs is not enough for an article. I should probably kill some time by going through my lengthy* investigation process.

Exhibit A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbdgjukybpI

There, straight from the horses mouth; Fernando Torres needs a hug. Well, I only watched the first 4 seconds where he spoke about the last few days being "very hard" but what else could he possibly have spoken about? He couldn't talk about all the goals he was looking forward to scoring, because he isn't scoring! He couldn't have started talking about how sad he was to leave Liverpool because he fucking loved leaving Liverpool! From his form over the last few months and the first few seconds of video, I can only conclude that at some point in the interview, he talks about his desperate need for a hug. Perhaps he mentions it shortly after the part where he reveals that the Chelsea kit is woven together with orphan tears (Again, probably. I should really watch the video.)

Ok, maybe I'm not Batman, but I'm at least Monk

Exhibit B

Not satisfied with the damning evidence I already had, I decided to interview someone in the know: A Chelsea fan I work with, this interview is 100% real, and 120% mind blowing!

Me:  Do you reckon Fernando Torres needs a hug?

Chelsea Fan: Probably, he's on now and we're winning 3-1 [Against Birmingham]

Me: Thank you

Exhibit Conclusion:

There you have it! Irrefutable evidence that Fernando Torres needs a hug more than anything in the world. So, faithful readers, if you see him out and about, or even sat at a restaurant with his family...you know what to do. Meanwhile this is the Worlds Greatest Detective  er, one of the better detectives...a relatively subpar detective signing off.

From Batman to Scooby Doo in the space of one article...being a detective sucks

*Investigation process was absolutely NOT lengthy